This journal is for someone i haven't talked to in months. If your reading this, I wanted to let you know quite a few things.. Firstly... I really did want to say or mention this is fear of crushing your feelings.. But i know for sure if i don't say it now. I'll never get the courage to say it again.. That sort of dating thing that we had... Never really kind of left like a date to me... It felt more kind of like a really long sort of... Get together I guess..? Even I'm not sure about that... I do kind of know why i sort of feel like this though.. It's also why I've never really dated or had a boyfriend or anything.. It's because I'm Asexual (read here
if you don't know what it is). And like I already stated... I'm so so so SORRY if this crushes your feelings.. It was extremely hard for me to write this because I hate to feel like I'm hurting people...
I also didn't want to mention this next part here in this journal right after that blow that you probably just got from what I said earlier.. But.. I know it would better for me to just state this now rather then later so confusion and more heart felt feelings don't spring back up... But.. I.. I won't be meeting up with you in May... I.. It really really hurts me to say this.. And I know it hurts you more.. But.. I.. I don't think I can talk to you anymore... I've been getting tons of more stress piled up in my life worrying about school and college and such... And.. I hate to say it's you... But it's you... I.. I don't think I deal with all the possible stress you could cause on top of the stuff I'm already dealing with... I'm sorry... I'm not saying your a bad person. And I'm not saying you should give up on love... Like I've stated before. You'll find someone, for sure, I know it. But I'm sorry, I'm just... Not that person... I hate to disappoint and upset people.. Which is why most of the time I tend not to truly speak what's on my mind.. But.. I know if I don't get this off my chest now... It'll stay locked up with me forever... I know I've said it a ton of times by now.. But I don't feel as though I've said it enough...I'm sorry... I.. I hope you have a great life.. Always make sure to live it to the fullest and don't give up! We.. We may never talk again... But.. Always remember this.. I care for you and I believe in you... Never forget that.. Please.. No matter how many people try and knock you down, stand back up taller and never falter.. Your meant for something great, everyone is... Don't stop trying till you find what that is..